“And I’m not sure what the trouble was that started all of this
The reasons all have run away but the feeling never did
It’s not something I would recommend, but it is one way to live
Cause what is simple in the moonlight, by the morning never is”—Lua
“And I know you have a heavy heart; I can feel it when we kiss
So many men stronger than me have thrown their backs out trying to lift it
But me I’m not a gamble you can count on me to split
The love I sell you in the evening, by the morning won’t exist.”—Lua
“I want a lover I don’t have to love
I want a boy who’s so drunk he doesn’t talk
Where’s the kid with the chemicals
I got a hunger and I can’t seem to get full
I need some meaning I can memorize
The kind I have always seems to slip my mind”—Lover I Don’t Have to Love
“I want a lover I don’t have to love
I want a girl who’s too sad to give a fuck
Where’s the kid with the chemicals?
I thought he said to meet him here but I’m not sure
I got the money if you got the time
He said it feels good, I said I’ll give it a try”—Lover I Don’t Have to Love
“And so I’ve learned to retreat at the first sign of danger.
I mean, why wait around, if it’s just to surrender?
An ambition, I’ve found, can lead only to failure.”—Lets Not Shit Ourselves (to love, and be loved)
“And I felt I was on fire, with the things I could have told you
I just assumed that you eventually would ask
And I wouldn’t have to bring up my so badly broken heart
And all those months I just wanted to sleep
And though spring, it did come slowly, I guess it did it’s part
My heart has thawed and continues to beat”—June on the West Coast
And I fell for the promise of a life with a purpose
But I know that that is impossible now
And so I drink to stay warm
And to kill selected memories
Because I just can’t think anymore about that or about her tonight
But I give myself three days to feel better
Or else I swear I’ll drive right off a fucking cliff
Because if I can’t learn to make myself feel better
Then how can I expect anyone else to give a shit?
And I scream for the sunlight or a car to take me anywhere
Just get me past this dead and eternal snow
Because I swear that I am dying, slowly, but it’s happening
And if the perfect spring is waiting somewhere
Just take me there
“I dreamed of a fever
One that would cure me of this cold, winter set heart
With heat to melt these frozen tears
And burned with reasons as to carry on
Into these twisted months I plunge without a light to follow
But I swear that I would follow anything
Just get me out of here”—If Winter Ends
“And we’d get drunk and kiss
Our bodies twist like shoelaces
And we never came untied
I guess you were just my type
You know that summer never stopped
I still pretend I’m there”—I Will Be Grateful For This Day
Sometimes I pray I don’t die
I’m a goddamn hypocrite
But then night rolls around and it all starts making sense
There is no right way or wrong way, you just have to live
And so I do what I do, and at least I exist
What could mean more than this?
What would mean more, mean more?
“cause there’s this switch that gets hit
and it all stops making sense
and in the middle of drinks
maybe the fifth or the sixth
I’m completely alone at a table of friends
I feel nothing for them
I feel nothing, nothing.”—Hit the Switch
I guess that it’s typical
To cling to memories you’ll never get back again
And to sort through old photographs
Of a summer long ago or a friend that you used to know
And there below
His frozen face
You wrote the name and that ancient date, that ancient date
And you can’t believe that he’s really gone
When all that’s left is a fucking song and
I’m sorry about the phone call; and waking you.
I know that it is late,
But thank you for talking, because I needed to.
Some things just can’t wait.
All eyes on the calendar
Another year I claim of total indifference
To here, the days pile up
With decisions to be made, I’m sure all of them were wrong
Into this song I send myself
And with these drinks I plan to collapse
And forget this wasted year, these wasted years
Devoted friends, they disappear
And I’m sorry about the phone call and needing you
Some decisions you don’t make
I guess it’s just like breathing or not wanting to
There are some things you can’t fake
“And now I’ve read some books and I’ve grown quite brave.
If I could just speak up, I think I would say
that there is no truth. There is only you
and what you make the truth.”—Don’t Know When but a Day is Gonna Come
“If there’s still time to turn around
I’m going to
It’s just, one day I fell asleep
And all day, all night I dream
I am the first one I deceive
If I can make myself believe the rest is easy”—The Devils in the Details
“Well, I made amends
In the general sense
But the devil’s in the details
And I know the cost
And I wanna stop
But I can’t do it
I just can’t do it
There was love I meant
There were accidents
So tell me which is which
Because I just can’t work it out”—The Devils in the Details
There’s this boredom that drowns everything
Bottles break, music plays
Conversations competing for space
I look for a corner or a quieter room
There’s no heat in this house
I can’t breath with these words in my mouth
But I’m not going to say them
Yeah, I’ve made that mistake before
On the stairs, she grabs my arm
Says, “Whats up, where you been
Is something wrong?”
I try to just smile
And say, “Everything’s fine”
Contrast and compare
Between the busy ones
And the ones that don’t care
Until there is no one
That you really know
So I drift through these days
Of appointments and promises made
They will all end up broken
And quickly replaced
Weeks are slow, days drag on
Even practice and parties seem long
But I found myself going
I guess there’s nothing to do
“They say it’s better to bury your sadness
In a graveyard or garden that waits for the spring
To awake from its sleep and burst into green
Well I’ve cried and you would think I’d be better for it
But the sadness just sleeps and it stays in my spine
For the rest of my life
And I’ve learned and you’d think I’d be something more now,
But it just goes to show it is not what you know
It’s what you were thinking at the time.
This feeling’s familiar, I’ve been here before
In a kitchen this quiet I’ve waited for
A sign or just something that might reassure me of anything close
To meaning or motion with a reason to move
I need something I want to be close to
And I scream, but I still don’t know why I do it
‘Cause the sound never stays it just swells and decays
So what is the point?
WHY TRY TO FIGHT WHAT IS NOW SO CERTAIN?
THE TRUTH IS ALL THAT I AM IS A PASSING EVENT THAT WILL BE FORGOTTEN.”—The City has Sex
“When you drive home to your place
From that job that makes you sleep
Back to the thoughts that keep you awake
Long after night has come to claim
Any light that still remains in the corner of the frame
That you put around her face”—The Center of the World
“Well, I drug your ghost across the country and we plotted out my death.
In every city, memories would whisper: “Here is where you rest.”
I was determined in Chicago but I dug my teeth into my knees
and I settled for a telephone and sang into your machine.”—The Calendar Hung Itself
“So that is how I learned the lesson that everyone is alone.
And your eyes must do some raining if you are ever going to grow.
But when crying don’t help and you can’t compose yourself.
It is best to compose a poem, an honest verse of longing or simple song of hope.
That is why I’m singing…
Baby don’t worry cause now I got your back. And every time you feel like crying,
I’m gonna try and make you laugh. And if I can’t, if it just hurts too bad,
then we will wait for it to pass and I will keep you company
through those days so long and black.
And we’ll keep working on the problem we know we’ll never solve
Of Love’s uneven remainders, our lives are fractions of a whole.”—Bowl of Oranges
“But once we are gone, who’s gonna care if we were ever here at all?
Well, summer’s going to come, it’s gonna cloud our eyes again.
No need to focus when there’s nothing that’s worth seeing.
So we trade liquor for blood in an attempt to tip the scales.
I think you lost what you loved in that mess of details.
They seemed so important at the time
but now you can’t even recall any of the names, faces, or lines.
It’s more the feeling of it all.
Well, winter is going to end, I’m going to clean these veins again.
So close to dying that I finally can start living.”—